Traditons Are a Bitch!!

Oh my goodness, this year is going to be the 22nd Memorial Weekend canoe trip.  That is just a crazy thing.  Never did I think we were going to make this year, ye, here are.   It has been a shit-tacular ride over the past few years.   All these rules and regulations have  come into play.  Well...fuck that!  I am so fucking sick of all the political shit that is going on in our country that I am so looking forward to being able to get away form everything and spend some sweet ass time on the river.  Fuck me...
Wow...it has been some time since I have wrote one here, too damn long.  I suppose it is because there hasn't been a lot of shit happening on the River.  I mean we have had the same fucking people on the river since Ducky, Bartender and Digger came on the trip.  The only fucking FNG has been Radar's gal, but I think I have mentioned something about that.  Damn...need some tunes...


"Hunger Strike..."


It is truly amazing what age brings a person...so much wisdom.  How many of us wish we could go back in time and wish we would have done something different in our past?  If you are reading this and say no then u are among the few that have lived a life of minimal mistakes...or one of privilege. 


Fucking blogger is not allowing me to edit my shit without making me retype all kinds of shit.  I try to delete shit but then it just goes over the words I have already wrote.  Kiss my fucking ass.


Well, Ducky should be over her time of growth with getting married and birthing a couple of kids.  We have talked some about this year's trip and she has said her and Bartender are going to be on the river this year.  I hope this can become a reality because I have missed her so much on the trip.  It was, at one time, a time when we could get together and just hang out for a weekend and be brother and sister like we used to be.  I'm not saying we are not close, but I just feel like as life has progressed that her and I, along with other people from my past, have grown apart because of all that shit that life throws at ya you know. 


First we lost Jake and Aaron...RIP Jake...and them Dishman and The Rev.  Digger held on for a year or two and Radar was in there a time or two before the Army.  Nevertheless, Radar has been there since Ducky and Bartender left, so that is all good.  Still I have to say that I do miss having The Mule and Mini-Hulk kicking it with us.  Really I just miss all the great people that have been on the trip that has made it so fucking awesome.  I would like for nothing better than to get everyone, including something of Jake's, back on the river for the trip.  When I say t his I do mean all of the people that have earned to right to be a Bigfork RiverRunner...people that have only made the trip once do not count as they cannot claim to be someone who truly appreciates the river.  


We have Angela, Stebe and Adam...who only made it once which just happened to be Duckly's first time and their only.  We also have the Dick-Doc and  Sandra who were only worthy of one trip because they just could not handle being FNGs.  It has been so long I can not remember if Pinner made the first two trips or not, however, I know he was on one of them but because he grew up in the North just like I did so he is a true River Runner...and the fact he grew up on the Bigfork does help his credibility. 


You know what is fucking awesome?  My kids are almost at the age of being ready to go on this trip with the Big Dogs...lol.


I do want to bring them onto the Bigfork River this year for a family camping trip...other than the one we do with just chilling and doing some fishing in a boat or on the awesome Pontoon that The General and Jane gave Little Mama and I for our wedding. 


Damn, it is getting late but I just don't want to hit the hay because I feel I have some much to say on here.  I know there are some stories I could tell from the trip yet I'm not sure what else I could say. 


Until next time I will remain...Crazy  Joe.

And the Countdown Begins...

Well I'm sitting her chomping at the bit to be done with another day of school.  Not much happens these last few days as the kids have finished all their assignments and are sitting with me, playing the waiting game.  The groups are set, The General and Gary are taking the Tank, Radar and Jess are floating in his canoe and Johnny Rambo and I are paddling the Core Craft.  I was hoping to be soloing it this year just for the simple fact that I just wanted to float a bit on my own and reflect on the past school year.  Still, I am happy to have Johnny in my canoe as that old bastard has the best balance of anyone in the group.  I have watched John do balancing acts in a canoe that would make an Olympic Gymnist jealous. 


As I was sitting in my room today, working on cleaning up the walls and bulletin boards I started to think about canoeing the entire Bigfork River in one shot.  I figure it would take a least two solid weeks to complete the journey.  This would also include spending nights at most of the camp sites along the way.  This would be a family trip with my wife and four kids, however, any other River Runner that wanted to join sure the heck could.  I figure that would have to wait for at least another three years so Bug has some time to grow and get stronger. 


The one thing that I want to come from this year's trip is a good story to tell.  I know for a fact we are going to get our shit wet because the weather is calling for a shit-load of rain on both Friday and Saturday.  My plan of taking off Friday night fell through because The General and Johnny will be the only ones there by the time I make it to the 140 tomorrow night.  I know it would have been assholes and elbows to get things loaded and moving on down the river.  I think it would have made for one hell of an adventure, but I feel the older crew is not so keen on pushing themselves anymore.  I suppose I will be that way when I hit my fifties also. 


I have a few things left to get ready tonight.  Some clothes and a few other minor items that are just waiting to get put into the car for the trip to Effie tomorrow night.  I just have a feeling, as I do almost every year, that I am forgetting something.  I suppose I will remember about a mile down the river and then the General will have some quip to make about my forgetfulness.  Oh well...


I guess I'm done for now as the bell is going to ring and I have things to do tonight.  Sorry this post is kind of boring, but tis better than no post.


Until next time I will remain...Crazy Joe.

Year 21 and counting...

Greetings to all that take to time to read the crap I have to say.  Well, we are getting ever so closer to that time of year when we take our little journey down the Bigfork.  We are less than 72 hours away from when we are going to me at The General's 140 on the Bigfork to prep for the float.  Normally we take off on the Friday of Memorial Weekend, however, this year I was not able to get the day off from work as it is going to be the last day of school with students at RLHS.  In year's past I have been able to schedule a doctor's appointment that day for one of my children so I can take them to their appointment and then head for the river.  We all know that life doesn't always happen the way we want so we have to make due with the cards we are dealt.  This brings me to the topic of this post's discussion.


Like every year I have been keeping a close tab on the Bigfork's water level as well as the weather prediction for the weekend.  As I  mentioned before we had an early spring so the water level is way down this year.  Currently she is only kicking out 685 cubic feet per second at the measuring station in Big Falls.  On average she should be between 1500 to 2000 CFPS which usually make for less paddling and more leisurely canoeing.  On the flip side of that the forecast is calling for rain the rest of the week up until Friday, however, Saturday is calling for a 90% chance of rain and storms.  According to this year's plan,  that is the time we are planning on being on the river.  With the rain during the week the Bigfork is going to come up but that doesn't change the fact that we are going to have rain on Saturday.


I have been kicking around the idea of maybe just getting on the river late Friday and paddling our happy asses down to the Easy Half camp site that evening so we can have base camp made before the rain decides to show up.  The problem with this is we are going to have to bust some ass Friday night to make it to Easy Half before it gets dark, but that also means we won't have to paddle in the rain and make camp in the rain.  We have done both before, so it really isn't a big deal, nevertheless, not paddling in the rain is always a plus.  The weather is looking to be warm so we won't have to worry about getting too cold on Saturday, but still...do we want to canoe in the rain?


A lot of the plan is going to depend on the conversation I have with The General in the next coming evenings.  I need to touch base with him on some of the logistics of the trip so we can really put together a great plan for this year.  I suppose the part of me that wants to put in on Friday is because it is going to provide a bit of a challenge to this year's trip as we are going to have to really bust some ass to make the ten miles to Easy Half before dark.  I know we can do it, but does The General want to do it.  I will have to get back to you on that one.


As the title suggest, this is going to be the 21st Annual River Runner Canoe Trip.  I just can't believe we have been doing this for 21 years.  It sometimes seems like only yesterday that we were just getting this thing off the ground and making it a yearly tradition.  We have had so many great people come and go on the trip that it is truly a joy to remember.  I honestly hope that I am able to make this trip again and again for another 21years.  By that time I know some or all of my kids will become a part of the tradition for in 21 years my youngest will be in his late twenty's.  That would make me 62 and only five years away from retirement.  It is my goal this summer to finally initiate my kids on the joys of canoeing.


My wife, Emily, and I are planning to celebrate our fourth wedding anniversary on the Bigfork this year with our four kids.  We are planning on making the same run we are doing for this year's Memorial Weekend trip.  It is an easy stretch of river with no rapids and soft current to get them the experience they need.  Logan and Bug have already had the pleasure of canoeing the Bigfork over the last few years, however, this time around it would just be the Marthaler family and no one else.  This means it will be Serenity and Wade's first time on the Bigfork.  They have expressed interest in canoeing, but just haven't had the chance to go.  This is all pending on me being able to borrow two canoe's from The General, but I don't really see that as being much of a problem. 


Well, I'm going to be needing to get to some other work so I will say TTFN


Until next time I will forever remain...Crazy Joe

What the fuck happened to us?

Damn, it has been a long ass fucking time since I posted on our blog.  The great thing about this web shit is that my words will be here forever and a day...as long as there is a web I suppose.  It is tough to put into words the reason's as to why I have not been on here recording our events as of the last few years.  To be honest the trip has become a bit stale as of the last years.  It has made me often wonder why this has become something that isn't what it used to be.  That fucking fun killer  LIFE has become the bane of the RiverRunners existence. 
Not don't get me wrong, life is a ride that needs to be rode and experienced with all the joy that has to be offered to a person, however, sometimes the bitch gets in the way of tradition and puts a fucking chink into the damn mix.  Over the last five years we have lost so many of the regulars to the casualty that is life that the trip has not been the same.  Mini-Hulk and Mule have had their trio of kids and have not been back since the year of 2010, fuck me that blows the mind.  I didn't realize that it has been six year since we had the Mule on the trip to carry our shit.  Yet I did say that the lest few years have been shitty. 


Digger, Ducky and The Bartender left us the following year.  Digger found herself a new man who made her the center of his life, not that I'm taking anything away from Dishman...but he did fuck up...but I digress.  Ducking got married, bought a house, had a couple of kids and now has to work this fucking year so she will not be joining us AGAIN.  I harbor no ill-will, but I do miss having my best friend on the trip.  This leads me to this year.


I guess I should catch all up to the point where we are now in the chronology of the trip.  Remember awhile ago I said we were gong to canoe the entire Bigfork River, well, we are eight miles short of hitting that mark, however, I just don't want to finish the bitch yet.  We need to get some of the original crew back to finish  the sonofabitch.  I know we are not going to get all of the originals back, but some of the people that have made the trip more than once. 


I need to share something with all those that read...last year in the month of October we lost one of the OG River Runners.  My little brother Jake "The Snake" Cleath took his life for reasons I can't explain.  This year's trip is going to be in Memoriam of my little brother from another mother. 


I just had a hell-of-an-idea...I should get in touch with Big Dog and see if he want's to take Snake's place this year for the trip.  Maybe we could make the trip that we did on the first year.  We could start from highway one and then slip our way to the Busti bridge like we did on the first year of the trip.  This would be something cool as it could be in memory of the OG RR Snakes.  Although, a lot of that is up to Mother Nature.


We had a very early spring and the Bigfork popped close to six weeks ago which means the river level will be low unless we have a lot of rain..  A  low river is going to make the rapids really, really  tough this year.  So I don't fucking know.


I suppose I could get to what has been happening the  last few years.


Until then I will remain Crazy Joe...

Spank a weasel and call it Suzy...just kidding.

DISCLAIMER:  This is something I wrote last year that wouldn't publish last year because of my shitty computer.


"Yo ho ho and a bottle of Brass Monkey" Beastie Boys 1986

Where to start...I think I have used that opening a time or two, but seeing how it can be a timeless question that we have all asked ourselves at one time when faced with an obsticle of whatever proportion, I feel it is aptly used here. What a fricken summer, way too short to be sure. I felt like I blinked twice and "boom!" found myself back in the classroom looking at the calander and wishing it was once again the end of May so I can hit the Bigfork with the rest of the gang to have a little fun. But alas here it is only September and the Canoe Trip is but a glimmering dream in a far distant future.

Regretfully, the General and I were not able to canoe the entire river this summer like we had hopped to do. It basically boiled down to me not having the time to do it because of obligations at home witht he family. We were, however, able to get back on her one more time and go for a ride, this time taking my seven year old son, whose nicname is now "Lt. Logan" for his first ride down the river. I will have to get to that story sometime in the future, but for know I'm just going to stick to a little overview until I find that need to write because it is what and how I do thing. If that makes any sense.

We did make the choice for next year's trip to pick up where we left off this year, at his river property and travel down some new territory. It will be fun for sure, the only thing it will lack are rapids. The next set of rapids come in the form of Bigfalls, and the name should tell all. This is stuff that only someone with a lot of balls or a lot of stupidity would try, and do it in a kayak or white water raft. I'm really excited to see this part of the river since I have not ever saw it before. This is what one would call true virgin territory, kind of lack year was when the General and I took our trip from the source.

Well, Em wants the puter so I will say ta for now. Until next time I will remain...Crazy Joe...AKA Cookie

Ok, so here I am...yippie-dippie-doo! No but seriously I need some fucking tunes if I'm going to comense to the ancient rite of writing to preserve for all mankind to review in the future. Hang on...that's better...a little Buckcherry...Crazy Bitch. Oh yeah...

Anyway, man it has been way too fucking long. I guess writing is a thing of mood, at least that is what it is for me. I'm not sure why it has been so damn long since I took to the keyboard and put some thoughts on this blog. I guess maybe it's because we don't have a lot of people that read this stuff. I suppose an audience would be more of an incentive but that is taking the bullshit way out because I should write just for the hell of writing.

Well last year was a bit of something crazy since there was only four of us that dared to take the trip on the Bigfork. We left from The General's 140 and made it to Easy-Half Campsite and there we stayed. We had planned to make it a little farther than that, but the weather decided to be a mega-bitch and kicked our ass with a shitload of rain and chilly temps. Now when you have been on the Bigfork as much as I have on the same weekend every year, ya learn a thing or two about the patterns that develope while trying to have a weekend of relaxation and fun. I can feel it in my bones when the weather is going to hold shitty for a majority of the trip and the best damn thing to do is to make an altercation to the plans and stay in one spot. So that is what we did.

  We took off Friday morning in the rain, made it the Easy-Half, our first destnation and stopped to pitch camp. Remember one of our goals is to stay at every campe site on the rive so we can check it off our bucket lists. This trip marked the farthest we had ever made it on the river.

It has rained off and on as we traversed down the river puffing on a stogy, swilling a brew or two and enjoying the peace that comes with sifting your way through the waters as nature provides the music in the background.  It was a great float with plenty of bullshit to keep us interested in what each other had to say.  We talked about the trip, past and present and how we live for these simple moments in life that few get to experience. 

It only took five hours to make the  ten miles because we were in little rush to make camp.  The beauty of the trip comes from the time we spend on the River though it only acts as an enhancer to the joy we feel with the comradship of being with people that love us. 

This was a bit of a new experience for me also on this trip, it was the year that the General allowed me to take the Duce 1/2 with Little Mama as he a Rev to The Rebel.  Now if you recall The Duce 1/2 is he new 20' Old Town canoe that he, Logan and I broke in the summer before.  It was so fucking nice to be able to sit in a canoe with all the leg room I could want plus some.  There was more than enough room for our gear to keep things level and balanced, even with some of the extra crap we weren't going to bring because of "downsizing" that the General threw in for us to carry.  My only complaint was the fact that the canoe doesn't have rib down the middle so it kind of slides across the water like a sled on the ice.  If I could have a canoe like that with a rib, I think I would be in love.

So we made it to Easy-Half and stopped for the evening, or weekend, whichever you want to call it.  It was a descent site with plenty of room for several canoeists.  It did have a rather dramatic little hill on had to traves to get to the top of the camping area, but nothing compared to the one at the Doons.  Em and I took a nice spot next to the trail that was fairly level with a little bit of seculusion incase we wanted to have a little pre-marital fun...hehe.  The General was closer to the permanent table that was a nice spider infested construct with tons of carved names and dates that had been worn down with the passage of time.  I may have a pic or two to throw up.  Rev decided to make his basecamp a little closer to the river that was kind of down the hill a bit.  In all truth with all the rain we got I was a bit surprised he didn't have more water in with all that blessed us on trip.

Since mentioned the pics I had to take some time to check out the camera, which be my phone since we couldn't find the camera last year.  Anyway, I do have some pics of the site that I have to put up for all to enjoy. 

This is Easy Half with all the tents...

 

Another at Easy Half with The Rebel and Duce 1/2...

 

A pic from the table the day we were getting ready to make tracks...notice the sun is out and a big ass tree is floating down the Bigfork...that is how much rain we got.

 

Well all those that don't take the time to read this shit...I'm going to see later on this story line...the story of Easy Half 2012.











The Time Has Almost Arrived

Here I am once again sitting on the eve of the annual Memorial Weekend Canoe Trip. The River Runner's are pumped and primed to get on the water and have a little fun under the beautiful Minnesota sun. The weather looks to be fair for the most part. A touch cooler than normal, but I would rather have it a little chilly as opposed to a hot and humid weekend. Those just aren't as much fun because the heat and a hangover don't tend to mix really well. We may get that touch of rain, but the forecast has been changing so much that I'm not really sure what to expect. Doesn't matter though. Little Mama and I have packed the right clothes for whatever Mother Nature has to through at us.

Just got off the phone with The General. The plans are set and we are pretty much good to go on all aspects of the trip. All we need to do is make sure we hold true to what is our responsibility and pray that the others hold true to their's. It is amazing the planning that goes into this trip. The logisticas alone can boggle the simple mind.

Ok, well I have been on the phone non-stop for the last few hours just setting things straight. So I must say farewell untill I'm able to add to the blog with stories from the 2011 trip.

Until next time I will remain...Crazy Joe.

Less Than 36 hours to Launch

Well ain't that just a peach. I suppose I should give an update as to the status of the trip this year. Duckie's friend Jolene is out which is a bummer. It is always nice to have and FNG on the trip to rag on and give shit to, well hopefully things work out better next year and she can make it with the rest of us. She is going to miss a hell-of-a-trip this year, but that is OK, like I said, there is always next year. The General and I are going to be leaving on Wednesday, which is known by those that don't follow, so that is still a go. I can barely contain myself because I want to hit the river so damn bad. Nevertheless, there my be a little bit of a hiccup in the plans.

Like every year of the trip I have been following the level of the river and the weather like a hawk. I check both several times a day leading up to the trip to see what kind of conditions we can expect while on this annual vacation. And like always it changes from day to day but that doesn't do a thing to put us off from the trip. We go in rain or shine, we prefer shine but we will take and deal with the rain as it comes. The hiccup that I'm talking about is that on the day The General and I launch we are looking at 20 to 30 mph winds from the north which may make crossing Dora lake a real fucking bitch. Let me explain...

For those that have never been in a canoe they can be a tricky water-craft to use. They are tippy for one...it does take a little to work out some balance in a canoe. When one gets good at it they can stand in the fucking while going down the river, still it is a different story when crossing a lot of open water. For one thing there are the waves. Waves can be deadly to a canoe, especially if they come at a person from the side. Nothing can tip a canoe faster than a good gust of wind and a wave. In some cases there is little a person can do but wish for the best. The next problem that is presented from having to travel the expanse of unobstructed water is the wind itself. The wind can take hold of people that are powering a water-craft via man-power. On the river the wind can be funneled down the waterway and make progress really slow and a lot of work. Add these tow combinations together and it can make a trip of fun turn into one from hell.

The canoe trip was never meant to be a workout. It has always, and will always be, a trip to let go from the school year and relax with good friends and family. There should never be a need to work our asses off to where we are not having a good time. I know that on some trips, and this one in particular we are going to have to make some tracks to stay on schedule, however, we can do that if we stick to a plan I have developed. I don't want us to be on the river for too long without having a lot of fun in the process. Hmmmm? I may have just came up with an idea...hehe.

As you know Highway One has been the nemesis of this trip for many-a-years. It has been the set of rapids that has claimed more River Runner's than any other set that we go through. I was holding onto a plan that we should not really drink all that much on the trip until we get through those rapids, however, if we stop on some state land before those rapids, cutting day one short by two miles, we could get lit on the river and not have to worry about being sober to do the rapids. This in return would ad two miles to day two of the trip, which is always an awesome thing because we can spend more time on the barge (when we hook all the canoes together and just float as a group) which is one of the best parts of the trip. Although I am the leader, I'm going to put this to a vote when we all gather at the Bigfork Landing and see what the other River Runners have to say about the idea. It may be shot down, but then again it might be something that we do.

I got a surprise for the River Runners this year that only Little Mama and The General know about. I have made a flag for the trip. It is just a crude idea that came to me one day and it is a little cheesy, but I am proud of it. The General thinks it is tits. But he thinks anything is tits...he must be a boob man or something...lol. I think I should ask him.

Well my friends...I need to go and check my gear and make sure that I have all that I need for the journey. I hate being in the bush without the right preparation...read into that if you want...so I must leave you all. I promise to make a post tomorrow night for all the ones that don't read.

Until next time I will slowly become...Crazy Joe.

I Love It When A Plan Comes Together

Well ladies and gents that never read the words of wisdom that I proclaim here for the world to read, and yet so few do. Who knows, maybe one day I will be a world famous writing and the shit that is held on this blog will be worth fucking gold. Sure, smoke another one Crazy...lol. But in all honesty the trip is coming together like extra chunky peanut-butter and jelly...as it does every year. We have the crunch of gathering all we need for a successful trip followed by the creamy texture of organization and topped off with the sweet taste of success. It is a most beautiful thing.

The food list has been set and I have learned that along with Em, AKA Little Mama, Michael doesn't like steak. It kind of blew my mind. I mean what red blooded American male doesn't like the juicy, tender, flavorful taste of a steak cooked over a campfire with all its smokey goodness? This is something that blows my mind because I can not come up with one conceivable thing that wouldn't be better off a natural grill...except for ice cream. Everything tastes better grilled. I have learned how to do king crab legs on the grill...best LEGS EVER!! DAMN! Yet again I digress... But like I said the food list is done and it is nothing different really than those from the past. In truth I can't really think of anything else to bring that would add up to some kind of extra gear or weight being added to the canoes. When planning this trip one has to take into account all the shit they cook, along with the ease of cooking it. We have done some different things here and there, but for all the changes, steak has always remained a staple while on the river. As far as food is concerned, I think we are golden.

The crew is pretty much set, we are going to have nine people, but only four canoes. This does pose a smidgen of a problem when it comes to gear, however, we are the River Runners, there isn't nothing we can't make happen. This means Duckie is going to be traveling in style this year because she is going to be able to sit in the middle while the FNG and Cityboy man the stations of a canoe. This should be interesting to say the least. I'm going to mess with her friend until she can't stand me because that is the way of the FNG. They do the shit we tell them. LOL. I know I'm an ass, but what can I do...it is tradition.

The weather is looking to be good for the most part. We may be looking at some rain on Sunday, but that is why we take rain suits. I just can't wait for the trip. I suppose one of the major reasons is because I'm going to be starting a lot earlier with The General than the rest of the crew. We have a lot of river to cover in the first two days...more than the rest of the trip. It is going to take some steady paddling for a bit on the part of The General and I to get to Little Minnow before it gets too late. I just hope we can hold out long enough...if ya catch my drift. In all honesty I can't remember ever going twenty miles in a day. I know we have done fifteen and that took forever, however, we will be a single canoe so the trip should not take as long because we won't hook up and just float. We are going to have to do some work, be we know how to do that.

I am going to keep my gear to a minimum this year by only taking a few sets of clothes. I'm going to see if Little Mama is going to do the same, which I hope because every year we usually take way more than we need. I'm doing all this to make sure we have enough room in the canoe for the extra gear we are going to take because of the FNG. I just had an idea.

The General should get some shirts that say FNG on them for all the new people that take a chance on this trip. If they come a second year then they may earn an actual shirt for the club. I mean we have had a few that have taken on the journey and bowed out because they couldn't handle the shit the river deals a person once in awhile. That is ok though, the river isn't meant for everyone; something all of us Runner's respect.

I suppose I should address the entire plan for the beginning. The General and I are going to meet the rest of the crew in Bigfork at the launch site Thursday night. We are going to get all of the gear from The General's truck, along with the rest of the canoes. Duckie, Digger, Cityboy, Little Mama, Brother John, FNG one and FNG two should meet us there. We will get the gear in order and send the trucks to Effie so we don't have to mess with that in the morning. Then we settle in for an evening of rest and relaxation.

The following morning we are going to get our shit together and head for Busti, which is fifteen miles away. We need to put on some miles during the first three hours of the trip so we cane be sure to make Busti within reasonable time. We can have fun and BS, but we have to make sure we cover some serious river so we are not done canoing before we reach our destination. I know that may be a lot to digest, however, the River Runners that read this will understand what I'm talking about.

I suppose though, I need to do some list checking and get some other things done for the trip, so to all those that do read this blog...take care and have a sweet time tonight.

Until next time I will remain forever...Crazy Joe.

The Year That Never Was But Happened Anyway

Now as those that read, oh how few you are, you should probably know by now that that this year's trip is going to be the 16th annual Memorial Weekend Canoe Trip, however, there was one year, in the past, in which we didn't hit the river but instead took a fishing trip to Crooked Lake. We didn't go on the Bigfork that year because the river level was too low to run, we had a very, very dry winter and spring, so instead we decided to take a fishing trip. In some ways this was a good thing, but in truth, all of us all made a comment at one time or another that we really missed the river and we would be back on her next year no matter what the level was.

Crooked Lake was a lake that was introduced to my best friend and I by his cousin Pat Cleath...AKA Fugly. I have to give some props to Fugly because he has passed away and is now on the great lake in the sky watching use from his place in Heaven. He was the one to find this lake and show it to Jer who in turn brought me to it. It turned out to be one hell of a lake for both Northern Pike and Crappie. Not once have I fished that lake and not gotten a fish there is that much action. The reason the fishing is so good on Crooked is because it is well off the beaten trail and takes a four-wheel driver vehicle to get to, which means it has low pressure from fishermen. It was the perfect spot for us to camp at, have some privacy and get in some stellar fishing.

Dishman and I were the first to arrive at the meeting spot because we planed it that way. He had gotten enough time off and I was done with school early, so we decided to get the weekend started a day or so before the rest of the crew. The General was planning on meeting us sometime early that morning because he had a load or two to truck at his job before he could get away for the festivities. Duckie, The Mule, Mini-Hulk and Digger were going to be out the following night late because of jobs and other reasons that I can't recall this many years later. Em was not able to make this trip because she was seven months prego with out last child Brennett. He was born that year on 7/27/07...what a sweet birthday to have.

So Dishman and I met at the cabin and got the gear ready for the weekend. Because we were camping at Crooked, we needed to make a few trips out there so we could transport our boats and my dads Polaris Magnum 500 four-wheeler . The wheeler IS an essential tool to get back to Crooked lake unless you borrow a buddies four-wheel drive truck and he tells you to "take her out and get some dirt on her." Words I would never speak to a Buddie unless I was a rich SOB...but I will get to that part a little later. In light of the fact that there was only two of us, we had to make three trips from the cabin to the spot we chose to park the vehicles and use the 500 to get us back to the lake. Well, I guess it was only two trips. The first one we brought our boats back to the road and the third we used to go and get the 500 so we could make the trips.

Once we had both boats, all the gear and the 500 at the start of the trail that lead to Crooked we stopped and had a cold one. It was at that moment that Dishman introduced me to the Jag-Bomb. He was acting a little odd, but that wasn't anything new for Jeff because he is an odd man...anyway we did a Jag-Bomb and then proceeded to get our gear out to the camp site. It took three trips from there to get both boats and the camping gear to the site. We were in no real hurry since it was just Dishman and I, so we took our time and caught up on all that had gone on over the last year.

When we got everything to camp we picked out spots out to sleep and proceeded to set up our tents. Now this was the first year that I had to set up the biggest tent of my life. Duckie had got some great deal on this massive tent hat has been dubbed the Taj Mahal becuase it is so big and a wonderful tent to camp in. It's s divided up into three sections with an entrance on all four sides. It is big enough for my family of six to camp in with some comfort and still have some privacy. In short the damn thing is massive. Nevertheless, being this was the first time I set it up it took a little bit because it was a tad unconventional. Being some experienced campers though it didn't take too long to establish camp, gather some wood and get both of our boats into he water.

Getting camp established Dishman and I proceeded to tie one on. We got lit like a candle in the dark and before we knew it, the General came bouncing onto the scene with my cousin's four-wheel drive truck...all the way back tot he camp site...hehe.

Well those that never read...I am about done for the evening...so I'm going to continue this tomorrow.

Until then I will remain...Crazy Joe.

Fourteen Days and a Wake-Up

Time is ticking down and the trip is getting closer and closer as she does. Was at the store again today and picked up a few items for the trip. I'm kind of pumped that I finally got a dry bag for my tent so that will have a bit of extra protection from the wetness that is incurred from going through the rapids or just from the bit that drips in off of the paddle. There is also a beer or two mixed in with the water, but that doesn't matter much because of the dry bags. I figure this year all of my gear that need protection from the water will have it in the form of a dry bag or box.


As I have said before the early start to the trip is a go, so the General and I will be launching on the 25 at 9 AM from the Dora Lake Landing. This is the simple part of the trip. We have trimmed it down to the essentials, as I have mentioned before, nevertheless, the problem is going to arise when we hook up with the rest of the crew. We are going to have four canoes and nine people on the trip. This means one of the canoes has to make room for a third person thus trusting another canoe with some of your gear. However, we may have to make an adjustment and put the third person in Duckie's canoe. I'm still debating on how to do this, but not to worry, those that don't take time from their busy lives to read my words of wisdom, I will come up with a solution, I always do. However, the more I look at Duckie's canoe, I feel that it may be a better one to be the one with three people...but I''m not going to dwell. I will keep the blog posted.




Well I finally did get some pictures of the Great Diamond Willow Paddle to put up here. Ones that lets you see the paddle in all of it's glory. I took a few pics of the paddle. The goal of the River Runners is to have Grandpa make each of us our own diamond willow paddles, all he needs to do is find some of the right sized pieces to make the shafts and we are good to go. But with that I'm going to post those pics and go to bed. Lots to think about and gear to get ready for the trip.









Until next time I will remain...Crazy Joe

We Do the Whole Fucking Thing

Wow, I can't remember when I was this excited to get onto the canoe trip. I'm like an twelve year old waiting for Christmas because he knows he is going to get the 22 he asked "Santa" for because he saw it in his parent's bedroom. However there is something else that has been pulling at my soul for quite sometime now.

The General and I have talked about canoeing the entire Bigfork the source to the end where she dumps into the Rainey river. You know, the river that makes the boarder between us and the Canadians. Well the talk of doing just that has been in the works for quite sometime now between the General and I. I have looked and re looked at the map a thousand times plotting and thinking out this trip. From all my contemplations and analysis of the route and days, I came to the conclusion that a trip like this would take around two weeks to complete.

The Bigfork River, as she flows, is 166 miles long from her source, Dora lake, to the convergence in the Rainey River. She is one of only a hand full of rivers that flow North in the United States. She is a majestic beauty that can enchant any man or woman with her serene beauty. However, it has came to my attention as of recent days, that one can make it from Sand Lake all the way into Dora and onto the Bigfork, which kind of lends the idea that Dora is not the true source of the Bigfork. Now this may be true, but I would have to, and will, speak with a DNR officer and ask what the definition of a source is and why Sand isn't considered in the Bigfork. But that is a lot of technical bullshit which I will save for a later date.

I know I have already established that the General and I are going to start at the source this year and by the time we reach the end of the River Runner's trip we will have knocked 55 miles off of the Bigfork. This is going to be the classic trip with a bit of a twist. For the third time in history we are going to start the trip without the entire crew, however, the last two times we picked up along the way it was only one person, but this time it is going to be a majority of the crew. So we take a two day early trip and cut out most of the first leg in the first two days...32 miles to be exact. From there we do the rest in a four day period, the other 23 and then that is the end of this year's River Runner trip. But that isn't the end of this year's canoeing.

Now I want all to keep in mind that read this that I'm going to have to find a place for my four children when I continue canoeing the river this year. What I'm hoping is that my Mom will agree to watch the kids for the time that I'm gone, well three of them at least. I'm going to make sure this trip happens when Wade is down at his Dad's house because that is what happens during the summer with my step-son Wade, he stays with his Dad a lot during the summer since we have him most of the time during the school year. I also have to get permission from my lovely faience Emily to go on this trip.

Now I have never taken a trip this long on the water and often thought about this trip with a very important problem to overcome; which is having enough supplies to sustain life while traveling a great distance on the river. It has been proven that we can pack a lot of shit within the confines of a seventeen foot canoe, however, this year we can take the Tank and break her in on this massive trip. With three extra feet at our disposal we should be able to pack enough things to make sure we have enough water, and essential item if there ever was one, and food. We can plan to make a stop at Johnson's Landing for water since the map indicates that it is a source of fresh water for those that travel the Bigfork. The next stop on the trip would be Big Falls, one of only two places where we would have to portage the canoe and gear. Little American Falls would be the first, which is a short jaunt compared to the half-mile we will have to do when whe hit Big Falls. That is going to be the one big problem we have because that is a long way to haul gear, even if one is only bringing the essentials. We need to create some kind of cart that can be used to haul everything in one big swoop, or make a few trips...but a half mile man...damn!

Each of our stops on this epic adventure is going to take place at one of the designated camp sites that the DNR provides, except for one. On the third leg of this journey we are going to have to make camp somewhere along the way on State land. I have located a spot on the map and it looks to be a nice place along the Bigfork, so we should be able to make something that other's can use but not abuse. We make a great camp site, except for the fire incident, but we won't go there right now. I think I have already discussed the building camp thing here.

There is one site that I want to hit no matter what and that is the Goudy site because it looks to be really isolated so I'm wondering if we will get the same feeling we do from the Rice or Doons site; a place that can only be reached via river. That will be another place where we put a plaque of The River Runners.

In any case I feel that this year will be the year that we are able to do the entire Bigfork for the first time...I have a feeling that this might become something of a tradition where other member's of my family can get involved. I still feel that the first time should just be a small adventure. If we could find a way to get a few people on the trip then we would be just slamming ya know. Even still, just the adventure alone is going to be something that is worth a good mentioning on this blog. I don't want people to worry because I'm going to take a lot of notes, especially after we pass the General's land, because that will be the farthest we have ever been done the river. I want to share what I see with words and pictures. It should be something that is rather awesome to read, at least for those that read this blog.

Well my friends, it is getting about to be that time that I need to hit the hay and dream about cruising down the Bigfork. Until we meet again I will remain...Crazy Joe.

Little Minnow Here We Come

Sweet as a honey dipped cigar those that don't take time to read the blog...it is a done deal and man can I hardly wait my friends. I have taken all the steps I needed to set up the opportunity to start this years River Run two days earlier than the rest of the crew. It is official, the General and I will be taking off on Wednesday this year and meet up with the rest of the River Runners Thursday night in the town of Bigfork at the landing.

The General and I have been planning this for a few weeks now, but it has taken a while for me to square things away with Em and our children; this means we have been discussing what we will bring on the first leg of the trip. Now thinking alike, we both agreed that we are going to take the absolute bare minimum of gear for that leg. Basically we will only really be spending one night away from the comforts of home, which is exactly the way we want it.

Our gear is going to consist of, one canoe and three paddles. We will of course each have a life jacket...not only is it the law, it is an absolute must to wear when shooting rapids. These are the absolute, without a doubt the minimum of gear one would need to take a trip in a caone, however, we are going to go a little beyond that, but not much. We will also have a tent, sleeping bags, clothes and two cots. The General suggested we skip the cots, but I said no freaking way. I at least want to be off the ground when I sleep because if it rains, which it can, I don't want to get soaked. We will also have two sets of rain gear. For cooking I'm going to bring just the Coleman stove. The only reason we are going to bring that is so we can make our coffee in the morning. This brings me to the only cooking container we are going to take with us, and that is the coffee pot. I will bring along a small container of coffee grounds for in the morning. For food we are going to bring a pack of dogs and maybe a box of doughnuts for the morning before we get back on the river. We are going to bring a cooler that is chocked full with some water, soda and a few brews. We will of course bring along two chairs and maybe an odd or end here and there, but that about sums up what we plan to take with us.

Like always I will have along the utility box because its contents have came in so handy in the past that I can't see going camping without it. There will also be little things like a camera and possible the stereo for some tunes. But in all reality, we are going to be traveling very light which means we should be able to skim through the water with ease and speed.

I'm not a big fan of rushing on the water, but I don't like to be on the river for more than six to seven hour during the day. I only say this because the legs and ass tend to get a little sore. Plus the whole peeing thing can be a real pain while trying to do it from a canoe. Last year I tried peeing over the side and damn near got tipped out by some unruley assholes in the canoe next to me. I was, as were some of the others around me, amazed at how quickly I could cut the stream and catch myself before taking a tumble into the murky waters of the Bigfork.

Damn I can't believe the trip is so close to arriving, not long now. Toughest part is the anticipation ya know...then it goes by so fast that it is sad ya know. Nevertheless, this is going to continue until I can't make it on the trip no more. With any luck, my kids and their friends will continue to carry it on.

Untill next time I will remain...Crazy Joe.

28 Days To Go.

Fuck man the waiting is driving me crazier than a dog in a fire-hydrant warehouse. When the days turn nice in the spring, like they have the last few, it is all I can do to keep my mind on the tasks at hand and not let them wander to the canoe trip. I just spoke with Em the other day about starting the trip early with the General and she said go for it, so now I have to see if Mom and Dad will come and get my kids from school on Thursday, provided that I can find someone to watch them Wednesday night after school till Em gets off of work. That shouldn't be too much of a problem, just got to set it up. I also have the responsibility to make sure the rest of the River Runners are going to know what the hell is going on and where to meet, or this could turn into a freakin' nightmare. The good new, however, is that Duckie has Thursday off, so that means she can rally the troupes and make sure they get to the Bigfork landing for the evening.

One of the big excitements of starting early is that the General and I will be the ones to take the Tank out on its maiden voyage and pop her cherry...hehe. I'm pumped to see how she handles and goes through rapids because we will have two sets to hit before we get to the first camp site, Hauk and Robbs. This should be a decent gage to see how she travels through the white water and dodges rocks. I know the steering is going to be different because three additional feet in a canoe has got to make a big difference, I know it does in a boat, so a canoe shouldn't be too much different.

I will have to admit that I am a little freaked that we don't know who is all going this year. We have five for-sures...(The General, Crazy Joe, Duckie, Digger, and City Boy) but the rest are still up in the air...(Doc, Brother John, Michael, Em, and Jolene). This sucks because if we have an odd number then that means someone has to solo the trip...which would most likely end up being me...craptacular. I have done it before, just not through rapids. I know I could do it though, I have the skill and the baheenies to do it. Oh, that is the word Bug using to say balls, nuts, junk...well you get the idea. I just like it because it is so fucking funny when he says it. Love that little guy. I say that I may have to solo because if we have to borrow a canoe, then I will use that one and have someone else pilot mine with Em...if she is up to it. I mean I don't want to borrow a canoe from someone and then let some other dude use it and possibly crash ya know.

Something has been bothering me for a bit. I haven't put a decent picture of my paddle on the blog yet. I know I have talked about it before, but I'm going to say something about it again because I can; deal with it you that don't read this.

I have had the coolest, most incredible paddle to use on the trip for the last three years...this . This year will be the fourth. The idea for this paddle came to me sometime in the mid 2000's when Grandpa retired from the mines. He and his brother-in-law got into creating items made from diamond willow. They made fishing pole handles, lamps, walking sticks, clocks, picture frames...just about anything you can think of that can be made of wood. Grandpa is still working on a bed frame made completely of diamond willow. A thing of true beauty to say the least, but what I'm getting at is a paddle made from this gorgeous wood.

During the early years of the trip I was able to find and buy these cheap paddles at L&M Fleet that were made from a 1.5" dowel that was three to five feet long with a plastic handle on the top and a plastic black blade on the bottom that provides a wide stroke in the water. I had bought several through the years and just so happened to have one that broke on one of the trips. It was actually getting kind of old and wore out, the wooden dowel, and it broke all of a sudden when I took a deep stroke. I kept the ends because they were completely intacked and just needed to be fitted to another chunk of wood. That is when the idea came to me to ask Grandpa if he would make me a shaft our of diamond willow to attach the pieces to...well he did.

The paddle that was constructed from that bolt of wood was a thing of pure beauty. It is a one of a kind work that is the envy of the River Runners. The only thing that is made from a synthetic material is the blade. It is a blade I have used for a majority of the trips I have taken down the Bigfork, so it holds a lot of meaning to me. Grandpa chose to toss the black molded plastic top and carve out a handle made from diamond willow. If you look closely at the picture of the River Runners you can see me holding the paddle...not the best but you can see it. This leads me to the entire point that I need to get a good picture of the paddle up on the blog.

When Grandpa found this rod of wood he knew it was the perfect diameter to make a paddle. The peeled the bark and touched up the diamonds. He put a lacquer on it to preserve the wood, which is something I need to do again to make sure that it stays healthy and not break. I have used it for three years and this will be the fourth, so she has saw some time in the water, but I do take care of her.

I have broke and saw many a paddle broken on this trip and that is something I don't want to happen to my one-of-a-kind paddle...I really need to come up with a name for her. Anyway it is standard procedure to take a back up paddle in the canoe in case one of them breaks. I always take a sturdy metal shaft paddle for my backup. I have came to situations where the canoe became stuck on some rocks and had to preform a push-off with the paddle. During this time I put Willow away and pull out the spare; this way if I break the one pushing it isn't going to be Willow, the one I cherish. I suppose you have noticed that I have name her, it just came to me so I went with it; something us English people do when we are writing...go with the flow.

With all this being said I know now that I need to get a picture of Willow put up on this blog. I think I will shoot a sweet ass profile pic this year with the aide of Duckie that features me with Willow standing in front of some of the Doon's rapids. It should make for a great pic and people can finally see the beauty of Willow and why I love this paddle.

Well people that don't read, I think I may need to go. The time is late and I am getting sleepy, kind of. Lots to come before, and hopefully after, the trip that is going to take place a few weeks from now.

Until the next time I feel like writing to those that don't read...I will remain Crazy Joe.

The General Buys A TANK!

Well there it is ladies and gentlemen. The twenty-foot behemoth the General is going to pilot down the Bigfork this year's trip.

I was sitting at home this evening when the phone began to ring. Being that it was the land-line I didn't answer it because it is usually some telemarketer trying to get to to buys this or try that. Rather than answer I let the thing ring, telling the kids to do the same. About that time Em gets home. Not being able to handle the phone, she goes and answers it. Low and behold it is the General on the line and he needs to chat with me.

We say our hello's and then he tells me that he isn't going to be able to go canoing this year. At first I thought he was giving me some shit, but something in his voice made him sound sincere. So of course I had to ask why, thinking maybe something came up family related, which has happened before, but no he says because he sold his canoe. Instantly I knew then that he had sold his canoe to my cousin Michael, whom is looking to buy a canoe, meaning that he had got the go ahead from the wife to go and buy an new canoe.

"So what did ya get?" I had to ask.

"I bought a twenty-foot Old Town XL." He said brightly. I could tell he was jazzed as hell and so was I.

"Holy Shit!!" Was about all I could say for a minute. A twenty-foot canoe was going to be something to see. During all the years of this trip everyone has paddled the standard 17 foot canoe, with the exception of Ladies Man. He has taken Grandpa's 15 foot canoe on a few trips. Even though it was only two feet shorter, it made a difference. He glided over all the shit that gave some of us a few problems. However, the General has bought one that is three feet longer. Damn! That is a big canoe. I"m almost as excited as he is to see the thing in action.

Simple physics would have to say that the bigger the canoe the less maneuverability there is going to be. Take the kayak, we have had one on the trip before and it could whip circles around any of the canoes. It was small and maneuverable. Ladies Man did a fine job skimming around in his canoe, which is five feet shorting the the Tank, as I'm going to call the canoe. I mean the pilot is called the General, so the Tank is a fitting name. The 17 foot canoes can be maneuvered with some skill, not totally nimble, but easy to get around if you know what you doing. It is going to be really interesting to see what happens with him this year. But I have been known to be wrong. This thing is probably going to be fast, but the turning is going to be a challenge and trying to pick and choose through some of the rapids is going to be something to see. I do want to be one of the first to go through the rapids so I can watch the General come through in the Tank.

Count on plenty of pictures this year because I'm going to be a fiend since I can slap them up on the blog with no problem. I also want to figure out how to do the slide-show thing so you can count on plenty of pics with the Tank and the rest of the River Runners. I will be back here as needed to keep all informed that don't read and also log in what is going to happen with this trip.

Until next time I will remain...Crazy Joe.

Andy Hugs a Rock

Although the Highway One rapids have given us some of the best crashes, well, at least looking back now those were some spectacular crashes, at the time they sucked monkey shit. Still, one can not leave out the Doons. Not as many crashes have happened there, but some really good ones have. Now for some reason I have really missed seeing some of the best crashes first hand, I always seem to come into the picture just moments late to witness the aftermath.

Like the time Digger came on the trip for the first time. Her and Dishman were right behind Em and myself coming though the first set of the Doons. We both shot the through the chute with ease, like masters of the water we came through, however, this is were experience came in for me and hesitation doomed them. After the chute there had to be a choice made as to where to go because of some rocks and brush in the water. If you went left there was also a smidgen of an tiny island sticking out, it was do-able, but a little tricky. The right was more clear, but then you had to dodge back to the left a little bit so you didn't over shoot the landing for the canoes. Well I took the left side, flow looked faster which would be perfect to glide right into the landing.

When we shot through, I wanted to watch Digger and Dishman come through, see at the time I didn't know he was as close as he was, so I did a quick maneuver and went back up the river so we were facing backwards and I could watch. I glided us up to the shore so all I had to do was take a couple strokes on the left and push the nose back into he current which would drag it down stream, pointing us the right way to slip onto the landing. Well because of this maneuver, Dishman hesitated and thought I had missed the landing, or was in a different spot than he though it was, in any case, about the time we got turned around and I was able to take a gander at Digger and Dishman bobbing up from the water in front of their tipped canoe. Seems Dishman was going to go right, however, when I went right after going left, he altered their course a little too late and caught that rocky snag just right and tipped them over. While funny to talk about around the warm campfire later that evening, it was kind of a pisser at the time. Still, both Digger and Dishman were in good spirits and held grins as they paddled their thrice soaked canoe to the landing. But that wasn't the funniest one I caught second hand.

I believe it was Rev and his buddy Andy that had the best, well, Andy anyway. Rev was the pilot that year while Andy was acting as a navigator. I can't remember if that was one of the first times he had canoed or not, he didn't seem all that adept to the balancing of the canoe.

Well that year we didn't have any major incidents until we hit the Doons. The General went through first, as usual and spun around to get some pictures. The Rev and Andy we the next to come through. I think Ducky and the Mule were next, but I'm not sure. All I know is that I was in the last canoe, with Em I think, but then again I'm not too sure of that either. What I do know is that when we came through the first set, running the shoot like every year, on a nice sized rock sticking of of the water to my right was Andy, giving it a big old bear hug. His finders were locked so tight onto the granite that I think he left claw marks. The Rev and the canoe were nowhere to be found, well they were; they were at the landing already. Poor Andy was stranded! As Em and I cruised by I quickly grabbed my boat cushion and gave it a toss over to him as the fucking idiot wasn't wearing a life vest. Our rules, which were in place at the time but are strickily enforced since, jackets always go on before going through any rough water. It wouldn't take much to get tossed out and smack a rock into la la land. The toss was perfect, but idiot-boy was too attached to his rock to reach out and grab it. I did pick it up as I let it float up to us.

As we pulled into the landing, the General was laughing his ass off, something I would be doing soon as I heard the tale.

Andy and the Rev came flying though the Doons, through the chute, but angled too deeply towards the right. When they came though, with a lot of momentum, they slammed directly into the rock and launched Andy out of the canoe to where he only had one foot left in the canoe. Well the moving current quickly took hold of the canoe and pushed it on down the Bigfork, forcing Andy to pull his foot out of canoe because he had no chance of getting back in. So Andy get intimate with the rock and the Rev floats on down tot he landing. I believe the General has some pics of it, so I will have to get them and put them up.

When we all go to the land and out of our canoes, we had to form a human chain from the shore to get Andy back to land. Without a life jacket and the strong current, it wasn't a good idea for him to just try to swim it. I also think he couldn't swim very well. It was a great trip that couldn't have had a sour taste, but turned out alright.

Until next time I will remain...Crazy Joe.

That's The Way We Crash

There is a basic undisputed truth about canoeing on the river, eventually, at some point if you are a regularly Runner, you are going to crash your canoe and take a dip in the waters. I myself have had two real crashes, both of which I ended up in the water. For one of them I was still sitting in the canoe when the canoe sank and the other I was kind of poured out of the canoe as she listed heavily to the left.

The first time I crashed was on the 1998 trip, Duckie's first year. This was the one and only time I had three people in my canoe. I had my friend Wayne Stebe and a buddy if his, Adam...I don't know his last name anymore. I found out on the first day of the trip that Stebe, the navigator, was color blind. His disability made it hard for him to see the rocks in the water, even they were causing a swirl or ripple because of the swift current. About the only way his goofy eyes could discern an obstacle was if it was sticking out of the water six inches or more or if they was a collection of white foam spewing from the other side. However, once we would get into to some white water, all bets were off because then he couldn't tell what or where shit was laying in our path. Having some skill in the pilot seat, I was able to get us through Rice and Highway One with only one little hang up, a bad choice on my part. I was also able to get us through the first set of the Doons. Nevertheless, it was on the last set of the Doons that we had the accident.

When we set out that morning I wasn't happy with the way the canoe was handling, she seemed to be listing to the right. I think a lot of it came from Adam. His uncoordinated ass couldn't keep himself centered, no matter what he did I always felt like I was compensating his weight with mine. Well we were coming up to the island that splits the Doon. The left side has the big water and rocks, but the best flow and most options for picking a chute to run. The right side is shallower, narrower and really only has one option for going down. Now if the Bigfork is running good, the right is a choice one can take and make; I have done it many times in my life. To be honest, the left side of the island scared the hell out of me, still does to this day, but I conquer that fear once a year.

Well I chose the right that day; figuring we had enough of a flow to make it. Well, the river was lower than I though, add to that Stebe's inability to locate and point our rocks, it was a choice for disaster. We were closet to the end when Stebe told me to go right when I should have went left. I had more room to the left from what I saw, and plenty of space before the island. We hit a rock and it instantly turned us sideways, so I was closest tot he island. This would not have been so bad if Adam and Stebe would have shifted their weight to the left, instead they leaned to the right, which was up-stream. It took about 1.4 seconds for the running water of the Bigfork to fill the canoe and wrap it around the rock we had hit.

After losing my mind for roughly fifteen minutes; during which I threw shit, yelled, pissed, moaned, and cursed everyone and everything on the Earth...I had some anger issues, we realized the canoe had to be unloaded and then pulled from the river. We did this and found that we could repair it enough to complete the trip; although she really pulled to the left after that. Oh, and we plugged a hole with red hanker chef.

The second time I crashed my canoe was on the Highway One rapids. This was the year of the fire. Well, one of the big problems of that trip was the booze. We were drinking before we had gotten on the water that day, which happened to be 9:00 AM. We polished off a good deal of Jag within the first five or six miles. Toss in there a shit-load of brewskis on top of that.

When the fire started, well I kept drinking. I was on a good drunk and wasn't about to lose if just because of some silly old fire. I knew we were fucked one way or another so I just kept on sipping the beers. If you have read that story you will know we got back on the river with our canoe's not packed the best. Sure things were tied in, but the packing was in a hurry and things were not centered the way they are supposed to be.

We planned on making it to the Busti site to camp that evening. We were doing alright until we got to the Highway One rapids. Once there we took turns, as we always do, shooting the rapids. When it came to our turn we got a little too close to the right side as Em and I approached the bridge. We came up on this rock that was slanted to the left. We ran up on it, and my tip, drunk ass was poured right out of the canoe, as was Em, and into the super cool water's of the Bigfork.

Once again this incident was followed by a big blow-out by me. I can be such and ass in times of strife. I hope I'm getting better. I don't want to be know for as being an ass. Anyway, those are the only two times I have taken a swim in the river while going down rapids in the canoe. I hope it is a long time until I repeat the process, but I will always take whatever the River has to offer me.

Highway One has always been the Bitch of the rapids. Of all the ones that we shoot, I have felt they are the worst, even more bad-ass than the Doons. The Doons may look more intimidatimg, but they always have good chutes...to the left...than Highway One. I know Digger and Dishman had trouble on Highway One, well they had problems at every set we hit. For some reason, Dishman couldn't figure out that you can't go down rapids sideways. It just doesn't work. I think Digger and Dishman hold the record for the most crashes in a year or by a couple. However, they do not hold the honor of the best crash ever in the history of the River Runners. That honor is bestowed upon the only father/son combination we have had on the trip.

I think we were doing the Bigfork to the North Busti road run, the same we are doing this year. Grandpa and Ladies Man were in a borrowed canoe. A red rubber Coleman canoe with mesh seats and two cross-bars in the middle for stability. They had made it thought the Rice rapids without incident. However, Highway One was a different story. Like man a canoeists before them, they succumbed to the dangers of the water.

Now I first want to say that I did not see this happen first hand, however, I do have Em as an eye witness of the event. I had turned around for some reason, but she watched the entire event unfold.

We came around the bend in the river and the General and his partner, Dishman, went through first; next came Grandpa and Ladies Man. Em and I were behind them, Mule and Mini-Hulk were behind us...and so was Ducky and Shawn. Em and I were going to take the same route that Grandpa and Ladies Man took, however, during those few minutes that I looked back to say something to someone, they hit a rock. Now I must remind you that they were in a rubber canoe with mesh seats, this is an important aspect to the crash.

They entered the rapids with some speed, which is what you want so you have more control over the canoe and the direction she takes, steering with speed is easier than without. They came upon this rock and hit it head on with a lot of fucking force. They hit so hard that the entire canoe buckled but didn't break. Instead the canoe snapped back to her original shape, thus turning the mesh seats into catapults. Grandpa was launched out one side of the canoe and Ladies Man the other side.

Em flipped out the moment it happened...I can't blame her because that was her Dad and bro being launched from their canoe like on ejector seats. It didn't take us long to get up on them because the current was strong that year. She was screaming for me to stop and I was yelling that we couldn't. Once committed to the rapids they only two ways you stop is if you crash or get hung up and the river the too high for us to get hung up. When all was said and done they didn't get a drop of water in the canoe, except for what dripped in after they got back into their seats.

I wished I could have that crash on tape. Ten grand baby from AFV, but oh well, maybe some other time.

Until next time I will remain...Crazy Joe.

While I'm Right Behind You Thrustin'

You fucking pervert. I bet the only reason you are reading this is because of the title. I bet you were looking for some obscene material to get your jollies off...sorry this is about the River Runners, not some soft, or hard, core porn. However, if one wants to get technical, there has been a lot of sex on the river by various members of the crew...hehe. I really could get into some of the stories, but I don't think that is right for this blog at the moment. I suppose when I get really hard up for material I will throw something in about some of the sexual excursions, but until then all you pervs are going to have to wait. Hold on a minute, someone is going to have to actually read this blog for there to be pervs around, huh, I guess I could write some of those stories. I mean, I will be the only one to read it. It amazes me that out of all the times Ducky and I have but this address on Facebook, no one, and I mean no one has taken the time to come here and read what I have to offer. It dig into someone like a pick-axe being driven into the heart of something so precious to me and those I love. Ok, now I'm rambling about God knows what. I noticed recently when reading some of my last few posts that this blog is not separating my paragraphs. Sorry to all those reading, or not reading, the blog. I am and English teacher for the love of Pete, I know how to write a paragraph and distinguish it from the rest of the paragraphs, so I do apologize, it truly is unintentional. As I was saying yesterday in the blog we plan to make it to the Busti Camp Site for our first evening on the river. It is about fifteen miles and we can do it if we do things right and put the miles on before we hook up. In all truth, six weeks from tonight I hope to be chilling by the fire right now with a frothy one in my hand, some good tunes on the radio and good company to surround myself with. I'm not sure about the other River Runners, but this trip is important to me in more ways than one. The last time we did this run we had some major problems, well not only the group, but myself as well. Something about Highway One has always scared the shit out of me. For some reason those rapids are tougher than the Doons, even thought they are smaller. Highway One has cause me more problems...well I shouldn't just say me, I should say the rest of the crew. A lot of people have had problems, even the General when he lost his paddle and had to use his landing net to get through the rapids. Or the time Grandpa and Ladies Man had an incident. I will write about that story tomorrow or sometime in the near future. There was the crash with Ducky and Beans, the one where Dishman road the cooler down the rapids...wish I could have gotten that on camera. I have gotten hung up a couple of times there, and dumped once really bad, the same year as the fire. I'm also pretty sure Dishman and Digger dumped on her inaugural year of the trip. The one where she was the FNG. If I'm not mistaken, Ducky has had her share of mishaps on the part of the river also, with various people. I think out of all that have gone on the trip, Ducky has had the most partners. I almost think she has canoed with just about everyone that has gone on the trip, except for Em and Mini-Hulk. Well, I suppose there are a few more than that but that is beside the point. Oh, as long as I'm on the subject of records, we are still looking for a Grandma to come on the trip. Haven't had one of those. So like I was saying, if all goes well, then we will make it to Busti, and conquer the stretch of the river that has given us the most heartache along with some killer memories. The next morning, when we wake, stoke the fire and brew that first pot of coffee that wakes the passed out Runners like revely, we will grub out, pack the gear and the empty cans; then we will set out on the mighty Bigfork once again, having only seven miles to go that day. I would like to get on the river that morning, maybe paddle a mile or so and then hook up until we have to separate for the Doons, or maybe to pee. When we get to the Doons, we have a decision to make; actually we should make it before we get there. We need to decide if we are going to stay at the start of the Doons, where we have built a site and camped twice, or if we should stop in the middle and camp on the Fucking Hill. Without the Mule to haul shit means we are going to have to do a whole lot more walking up and down the hill. However, Ducking and Shawn have been really working out, so maybe they will be the ones to do most of the work...lol...one can only wish. Either way, we are going to be crashing at the Doons so I don't care where we stay...as long as we stay. This year I'm going to leave something at the Doons for all the people that make it there during the year to read and sign. I have an extra map of the river in my possession. I'm going to leave it someplace at the camp site on top of the hill, triple bagged, with a black sharpie on in it. I'm going to also leave a letter about who we are and why we do this trip every year. I'm going to ask that the people that read letter sign the map and leave it in the same place I left it so when we return the following year we can collect it and see who has all been there. It is going to take a leap of faith that it will make it 365 days without some fucking asshole burning the SOB like some kind of tool, however, it will be neat if it survives to see who all makes the run every year and if they would be interested in being a River Runner. We are always looking for new recruits. Something else that is going to happen on this trip is that Ducky and I are going to go and dig up our buried bottle of Whiskey. She is going to be going to Ireland this year, on her Honeymoon...I'm so happy and jealous at the same time, however, I want her to bring back a bottle from the Jameson distillery we can bury and enjoy every year until it is gone...Shawn you can join in also if we can call you Spuds. But we are going to go and get the bottle this year, at least dig that fucker up and take a horn. I want to keep it there until it is empty...or until we can no longer do the trip. I would actually like to polish it off when my youngest kid is old enough to take that last horn with me...coming full circle. Speaking of kids, I can't wait until I can pass this tradition along to the fruit of my loins. In all actuality, Wade should be able to go on the trip this year. I took my first ride on the river when I was ten years old, the age Wade is now, but I don't think this is the type of trip for him, not yet anyways. I do want to take my kids on the river, just not through any rapids yet; I'm too scared that they may fall out or something. Nevertheless, I'm going to talk with the General this year and see if he wants to take a trip down the river with Renny and Logan this year. Not through any tough parts of the river, no rapids, but maybe just a trip from the Busti bridge to his land or something. A trip that we can take them on to teach them a little about the river and camping. Two days, two days we are going to be spending at the Doons this year. Besides the map thing I want to do something that is going to leave a lasting impact on the site. We need to do something that is going to make it great...whether he DNR likes it or not. Maybe we should put in some kind of horseshoe pit or something. Leave something there for those that make it to the site to enjoy. I figure if we leave something like that there, people will forever remember The River Runners. I'm not sure what else I want to say for this entry. I pray the weather holds well, a little rain would be ok, however, none would be better. Hell, even if we have rain the whole time, it will be an adventure to remember. It would not be the first time we would have had to deal with rain. Many a trips have had a lot of rain on them, makes things a little soggier, but we get by. Makes the fire that much cozier. The one thing that I really don't want is a lot of heat. There have been a few trips where the sun just beat down on us and almost made it miserable. Tough to get into the party mood when you're hung over and uncomfortably warm. As we draw closer to the launch I will be adding more stuff here. Next I'm going to write about a few of the crashes. Until next time I will remain...Crazy Joe.