Twenty Hour To Go And Counting...

Woo! Hoo! We are almost ready to head for the cabin to meet up with Duckie, The Mule and Mule's Man. The shit is all packed, repacked and packed one more time just to make sure we didn't forget anything. This is by far the longest day of the year, but the trip is well worth the wait. Have a great Memorial Weekend...until I return I will remain...Crazy Joe

Almost Ready

Well Crazy Joe has written some stories about our past trips. I have given you an idea about what it takes to prepare for one of our adventures.

So starting on Fri we are off on another trip down the Bigfork River. We are all excited and thrilled to be off again this year, being that we missed canoeing last year. As in Crazy Joe's last blog we will be in the hunt for the elusive bottle. The idea this year is to place the glass Jameson bottle in a PVC pipe with caps and bury that, this way the bottle doesn't shatter when the frost comes in this winter. I can't wait to be on the river with friends and family, sitting back, having a few brews, listening to toons and not having a worry in the world. So until we get back on Monday the blog will be at a stand still but the stories will be in the process of being made. So stay tuned we will be back before you know it.

The Secret of the Bottle

When my sister and I were younger we would go and stay at our grandparents for for a week or so during the summer vacation from school. One year we came up with the idea to bury a hidden treasure somewhere in the farm's grove of trees, and then the following year on our visit try to locate the hidden booty. I remember that I buried a few quarters in an empty air rifle pellet box. It was the perfect little chest to hide my meager coins. I picked a spot near a young oak tree that had split about three feet up to form a huge peace symbol. The perfect marker to help me find my treasure. I'm not sure where Duckie hid hers because one of the rules was to not let the other know where they hid their treasure. This was done out of fear that the other would go find and steal their treasure. Brother/Sister rivalry, you know.
The following year when we made our annual visit and I went to go find my hidden bounty, I found to my horror that my Grandpa had cleared out that section of the grove for one reason or another. To this day my three quarter, four dime, a nickle and a dozen pennies lays hidden in the soil of the old farm. I believe Duckie had found hers, but she never did tell me where her hiding spot was located.
On the year that Duckie and I were the only ones to take the trip, 2001, we reminisced about the old days when we still lived at home with Mom and Dad. Somehow we got on the topic of the hidden treasures from the days of the old farm when one of us suggested we do something like that again, only this time bury the hidden treasure somewhere out here, at the Doons.
At first I suggested we bury a notebook we could dig up every year and write down tales of our adventures on the river. We both liked this idea, but weren't quite sure what to bury the notebook in to protect it from the elements. A little cooler was mentioned and then a metal box. One of us even threw in the idea of buying a home fire safe box, but neither of us wanted to spend that kind of money on a notebook protector. Then it came to one of us; instead of burying a notebook we should bury a bottle of our favorite whiskey...Windsor.
On the following year of the annual canoe trip, be brought along a 1.75 liter bottle of Windsor. Since the Doons are the only constant as to where we camp every year, it was to be the place we would bury the booze.
That evening, when the first signs that the sun was going to be setting soon we pulled the bottle from the cooler, grabbed the shovel that was brought specifically for this purpose and took off down that trail that leads north from the hill top camp site. We went alone, this was going to be our own private tradition.
We travel a hundred yards or so and then took an old beaver skid trail down towards the river, the crashing sound of the water grew as we neared its shore. We looked around for a suitable spot to bury the bottle. It was decided that we should move away from the shore because if we were to have another year like 2001, the burial spot wold be submerged beneath the rumbling Bigfork. Moving to a level spot between the hill and the river we found the perfect location. After clearing away dead leave and musty moss I tore into the soft earth with the shovel; I stopped when the hole was a foot deep and large enough to accommodate the shiny brown bottle. Cracking it open we each took a mighty swig, no wash mind you, sealed it back up and tossed it into the freshly dug hole. We carefully replaced the dirt, moss and leaves, attempting to leave no trace that we had been there. Then we went back to the camp.

I Knew Right Where IT Was

That evening TBD carved a tiny sapling into what looked like a pencil. Duckie said it would be the perfect marker for our bottle, so TBD gave it to her to place before we left the Doons the following day. The crew then proceeded to get just totally shitfaced and enjoy our time at the greatest camp site in Northern Minnesota.

Proud of The Damn Thing

The week following the canoe trip I got a phone call from Duckie, she explained how when she was unpacking her camping gear she came across the "pencil" TBD carved. The same one we were going to use as our marker. It seems we celebrated a little harder than we thought.

When we arrived at the Doons the next year we set off for out bottle after we had gotten camp all set up for the evening. The topic of the bottle was hot that years as it was the first year we were going to dig it up, take our annual swig and set her back in the grave for another year's worth of aging.

We trampled up and down the bank for a good twenty minutes, checking here, checking there and even arguing about which beaver skid trail we should take. Duckie was right, it was closer to camp than I thought. We had to dig a few holes before we found the sweet spot. Then, before our eyes, the dirt gave way an our bottle was unearthed. We each took a horn, took a picture with the bottle and chucked her back into the hole. However, this time I brought an ax and marked the tree closest to the bottle.

The next year we didn't make it to the Doons because of the Curse of the Yellow Rubber Duck, but that is a story for another day.

We have been to the bottle a couple more times, but missed last year because of the low water level in the river, that however, didn't stop us from having another adventure with the gang. This year when we visit the bottle's grave we are going to replace it with a bottle of a finer whiskey, Jameson.

We found it Again!!

This will be my last entry until we return on Memorial Day. Until then I remain...Crazy Joe

The Backyard

Like I said before, in the beginning we took the bare minimum for gear. Yet like the seasons in Minnesota, things always change. When the General became a regular on the trip he always seemed to have some new item or gadget that made the time canoeing and camping a lot easier. There is a saying on the trip now, "If you don't have it, ask the General because he probably has two." The saying is more often true than not.

During the last few days I have been making my lists for this years trip. Here are the things Emily and I will be putting into our canoe this year.

Two people with life jackets - A must have not only for legal reasons but also to keep your ass afloat if you happen to fall out in the rapids. It has only really happened once.
Two to Three boat cushions - Canoe butt sucks
Two Large Coolers - One for beer and the other will be either half bottled water and half soda, or it will be the cold food cooler.
One Large Tote - In this we are going to put two sleeping bags, our tent, shaving kit and clothes. The sleeping bags and clothes will be in dry bags and the tent will be triple bagged in garbage bags.
Three Lanterns - We like to light the night.
The Coleman Stove
One ten pound propane cylinder with a (T) attachment for either two stove burners or two lanterns, or one of each.
Six Gallon Jug of Fresh Water - One can never take too much water.
One compact folding table - Another archaic piece of camping gear from 1978. But it is light and works great.
Three Tarps - For this, that and the other.
Three Paddles - This year I will be using a paddle that has a black hard plastic blade, from a paddle I broke a few years ago, with a custom diamond willow handle. This was a gift from Grandpa to me this year. I will make sure to have pictures of it up on this blog ASAP.
Two Chair-in-a-bags - This have been a staple ever since Duckie went on the trip. It sure beats using a cooler.
One Utility Pack - With every thing from Bug Drug to bungee cords, extra tent stakes to nylon cord. I have all kinds of items that go in here to aid with the trip, way too many to name.

There maybe some other odds and ends that will go into our canoe, but that really isn't truly decided until the mourning we load all the shit into our water crafts. I also have a tote that is filled with cooking items, such as two large pots for boiling water, a smaller pot for beans and a fifteen inch frying pan, all the cooking utensils, cutting board, knives, griddle, can opener, coffee pot, various spices, dish soap, scrubby pads, pot holders and so on and so forth. I'm not sure if this is going in the General's canoe or the Mule's.

I do know the General will also have a table in his canoe, however, his isn't as compact or light as mine. His own ten pound propane cylinder, the stereo, chain saw, although this year we are going to encase it in a sealed five gallon bucket. Last time we took the chainsaw it got a tad wet and we had a hell of a time trying to get it going. A horse-shoe kit, always a camp favorite. Two lanterns of his own. Two coolers and possibly the dry food tote. The General also has a mobile grilling great the my cousin Tallywacker made for him out of stainless steel one year. It is a great set up and makes grilling steaks or burgers a breeze. He also has a utility pack filled with all kinds of strange wonders, most of which we tend to need on the trip. Can you believe that one year we had our rain tarp rip and the General just so happened to have a grommet repair kit in his utility pack. He made one hell of a Boy Scout.

In recent years I have considered buying a portable shower for the trip, but then I get to thinking about the ritual bathing in the Muldoon rapids. There is a calm spot on the Muldoons that is perfect for taking a much needed bath while on the trip. The water is still very swift, but extremely cool and refreshing. On the second day at the Muldoons we take turns at this spot to freshen up and prepare for one last night of hard core partying. I think it is going to be a few years before we buy that shower, if ever at all.

As you can see we take along just about everything you can possible imagine on this trip. The General once brought along a small TV so we could all watch the video from the previous year. We truly don't want for anything on the trip, which sometimes makes it out like a camp out in a backyard. Nevertheless, something is always forgotten...I wonder what it will be this year.

Well it is time for me to go round up some more gear. Only sixty one hours to go before the scheduled launch from the Bigfork landing. Until next time I remain...Crazy Joe

Only 2 Days, 11 Hours & 11 Minutes Until Launch

Well the food shopping is done. What a relief it is knowing that I now only have about 101 things left to do instead of 151. Now as mentioned in Crazy Joe's previous blog when he first started to go in this trip booze was the most important item to bring. Basically it was the bare essentials with a ton of alcohol. Nowadays we still bring a lot of alcohol. (The Mule and her man brought along five, no wait I think it was six cases of beer one year.) So like I said booze is a must. Yet we do bring along more things than we really need. but hey it's our trip so we can bring whatever we want right.

SO as I have said food it bought and ready to go now it comes time for the other things. Here is a list of what we deem necessary for this trip:

1. Canoe - how can you canoe without one of these
2. Paddles - steering is a little hard without these bad boys, some have found out when they lose them
3. Tarps - to cover the gear in the canoes and to place under the tents to keep them dry
4. Coolers - need to keep the alcohol cold somehow
5. Tent - sleeping under the stars may sound romantic but do you know how cold it can get and how many bugs are out there?
6. Sleeping bag - way better than blankets on a cold night
7. Air mattress - if you don't have one of these there will almost always be a rock right under your back
8. Pillow - comfort item but I sure do appreciate it
9. Lanterns - we usual have about 6 going at night, the drunk have to see where they are going otherwise it is not very safe for us
10. Rain Gear - there have been time we haven;t needed it but I would rather carry it along just in case than have to spent the night wet, no matter how drunk I am
11. Warm Clothing - this can be jeans and long sleeve shirts to hoodie sweatshirts and long johns, when the sun goes down it can get really cold
12. Summer Clothing - I'm talking about tank tops, shorts and swimsuits, we go through rapids that are bound to get you wet
13. Sandals - not the cute kind that just slip on, we had a cousin that had on leather sandals the Year of the Duck, you need ones that can get wet and won't fall off in the water
14. Tennis Shoes - these are for the camping portion of the trip, at night you want dry, warm shoes on your feet
15. Sunscreen - every year we bring this along to prevent burning, yet every year there are some pretty crispy people at the campsites
16. Bug Spray/Skeeter Beater - the mosquito's come out at night and if it has rained look out, they might just carry you off
17. Camp Stove - hey you need something to cook on right
18. Cooking Utensil's - we are talking pots, pans, spatulas, spoons, knifes, tongs, can openers, everything but the kitchen sink (we haven't figured how to get than one in the canoe yet)
19. Camp Table - yes we bring a table there isn't too many of them just sitting out in the woods
20. Radio/CD Player/CD's - music makes the world go round and it also makes floating down the river so cool
21. Camera - this is my main item, you must capture the moment otherwise you might forget
22. Camcorder - we had one of these one year and got to capture the Mule and her man going down the Muldoons backwards, another story another time
23. Chainsaw - yes we have brought this along, unfortunately it got a little wet when we swamped the canoe, but that is another story
24. Canoe Partner - this may seem kinda dumb but trying to solo a canoe is a lot of work and being one who has lost their partner almost every year, (not lost lost, lost as in can't go anymore, won't go anymore or finds a new partner), this can be a pain in the you know what
25. Propane Tanks - these are the little ones for the lanterns, you need about one a night for every lantern you have

This is just the things I can remember as of right now. There are probably over a dozen things that I have forgotten but someone always brings them. So now imagine a normal sized canoe that will be hauling two people and all their crap in that one canoe. Basically double all the things on this list and imagine it in one canoe. Doesn't seem possible does it? I can guarantee you that it is possible, we do it every year.

From Backwoods to Danm Near Backyard

The first couple of years of this tradition we took the bare minimum for gear. The crew for the trip in 1996 include Brother John (my uncle) and Stuball, (pronounced Stew-Ball), Snakes, (my best friends younger brother) and myself. Stuball and my uncle were in one canoe and Snakes and I were in the other. Out journey that year took us from the town of Bigfork to the bridge in Craigvill, a thirty mile jaunt downstream.

Being that this was a river trip, most of us knew some of the basics. Things like, make sure all clothing, sleeping bags and tents were double or triple bagged to prevent soaking. Always take an extra paddle just in case one is lost or broke. Last but not least, but probably the most important, ALWAYS TIE YOUR SHIT TO THE CANOE JUST IN CASE YOU TIP! The last of these rules IS the most important, but the one that always seems to be ignored the most. I will definitely get to stories concerning that rule, but not today.

Growing up in the north woods, a kid tends to do a lot of camping. So when it came to the canoe trip, I knew what I would need to bring to make things a little easier. Between the four of us on that trip we had:
One camp stove - A Coleman white gas unit that my folks bought back in 1978 that still goes on the trip to this day.
Two tents each - Stuball brought his little three man dome tent that he and Brother John slept in. I brought a little pup-tent that my folks also bought back in 1978, however, by this time I had to cut poles for the ends because the aluminum ones we broke and lost many years before.
Four Sleeping Bags - Nothing to add here
Two Lanterns - Both Coleman units that also used white gas. One was Brother John's and the other now sleeps at the bottom of the Bigfork. (Like I said, tie your shit down.)
Four Large Coolers - Two and a half of the coolers were reserved for the beer and bottles, the other half of the third cooler was for soda and mixes, and the fourth was used for the meager amount of food we brought. And some water.
Two Small Coolers - These were used for beer while we canoed during the day.
One Medium Tote - In this we had a frying pan and pot, a peculating coffee pot, salt n pepper, a Tupperware container of coffee grounds, one pot holder, some paper plates, keg cups, a couple of forks and spoons, one spatula and a can opener for the beans.
Four Tarps - Used to cover the gear while in the canoe and for under tents at camp sites.
One Small Bow Saw - Firewood
Hatchet - Firewood
Various ropes and bungees - For strapping shit in the canoe and for hanging things.


Nothing else really comes to mind in the way of gear. I'm sure there were other odds an ends, but that is like any other camping trip.

When we planned the 1996 trip we didn't give much though to food. What concerned us the most that year was bringing enough beer, booze and smokes to last the four day trip, hence the devotion of 2 1/2 coolers to strictly alcohol. We brought a bunch of hot dogs and one loaf of bread. Ketsup and mustard, but nothing else. One dozen eggs and a couple packages of bacon and sausage. I think we may have brought stuff to make smores, but that part of the trip is a little hazy.

Oh how things change in thirteen years. People have actually been amazed at all the shit we cram into our canoes these days. In truth, many of us veterans of the trip have been talking about down-sizing for the last few years. Never happens though, we somehow always find a way to drag something new with us onto the flowing waters of the Bigfork. Next time I'll tell you how we have transformed the backwoods into the backyard.

Until then I remain...Crazy Joe

Food for the Trip

I am at work right now but my mind is on the 150 things I still have to do for the trip. We may have been talking about this trip since Christmas but most things get done the week before we launch and never any sooner. I'll admit it, I am a procrasinator, always have been, always will be. Still when it comes time for the canoe trip I am more together than usual. I will talk about one of the many things I must do before launch day.

Tomorrow I have to go buy food for the six people going down the river this year. After a few year of havin people bring certain things it became apparent that having one person buy all the food was more sensible, this way nothing was forgotten. Being that Crazy Joe and I are always on the trip and that I have a membership to Sam's Club I became elected to be the food buyer. I love having the responsibility of buying the food.

So just to give you an idea of what we bring food wise, here is a list of what we bring ever year, amount varying on how many people go:

• 1 sm tub margarine


• 1 block butter (for ragin cajun taters)


• 3 lb pk cheese slices (for cheeseburgers and eggs)


• 1 pk shredded cheese (new addition, ragin cajun taters)


• 1med sz cooking oil (not really sure what for)


• 2 eighteen ct eggs (breakfast)


• 4 lbs bacon (breakfast, day 2,it's a Marthaler thing, can't have too much bacon)


• 4 pk sausages (breakfast, day 3)


• 3 phk hotdogs (supper night 1)


• 2 pk brauts (supper night 1)


• 4 Big cans baked beans (supper nights 1 & 2,thank God I sleep alone in my tent)


• 4 loaves of bread (breakfast and supper nights 1 & 2, no hotdog/hamburger buns this year)


• 1 gal milk (down sized form 1 1/2)


• 2 gal of OJ (good in am to replace what alcohol took out)


• 4 lbs hamburger (supper night 2)


• 5 lbs taters (supper night 3, ragin cajun taters)


• 3 pk of hashbrowns (breakfast, new addition)


• 4 Big cans mushrooms (breakfast and ragin cajun taters)


• 4 rolls paper towels


• 2 cloves garlic


• 1 bottle each ketchup, mustard, relish


• 1 jar miracle whip

There are a few things I don't pickup such as the steaks and spices. I leave that to Crazy Joe. he is the chef along with the General. For the most part as you can see we stick to the basics for camping, hotdogs, brauts and burgers. Yet one night is dedicated to a meal of steak (chicken breast in the case of the Mule, a story we will tell another time) and Crazy Joe's Ragin' Cajun taters cooked over a bed of coals. We have had corn on the cob or some other type of vegetable but the steaks and taters are always there. The steak meal is always at the Muldoons campsite and it is a tradition we hope to keep going on as long as we are capable of making the trip down the river.

Well I have to get back to work, but making lists in my head of what to do when I get home.

See next post for how it all started and how far the supplies have come.