Still a no go on the river flow, but plenty of info on the FNG.

Well lady luck was with us once again today, the mighty Bigfork is still plugged with ice, but with this warm weather it is going to be a sure bet it isn'g going to last all that long. I expect she is going to pop sometime within the next four days. We have some warm weather ahead and the forecast is calling for rain on Saturday, which will help the ice go even faster. I think the lakes still have a few weeks left, but I'm sure some bays are opening up here and there. That doesn't matter to me, what matters is the Bigfrok holding out for as long as it can so we have a lot of water this year. We got another FNG coming this year, hmmm...that has me thinking...I wonder how many years we have had that has a FNG on the trip? Now that is a good question. This is going to be the sixteenth year of the trip, which is stellar in itself. I can't fucking believe we are approaching twenty, but I digress. But to think back on all the trips and try to remember what years had an FNG. First I think I should define what an FNG is. An FNG is an acronym for Fucking New Guy/Girl. This is a person who is on the Bigfork River for the first time in their lives. The role of the FNG is to do all the shit jobs, the crap jobs, the jobs that no one else either doesn't want to do or has laid claim to some other job. Take me for example, being the heart and soul of the trip I have taken the job of Camp Cook. I have a couple of mean recipies that some claim is the only reason they come on the trip. That is probably streching the truth a tad, but I tell ya, anyone that has sampled my River Spuds will testify they are the best damn potatos they have ever had. Another example would be The Mule. The Mule has taken it upon herself to be the one that carries most of the shit up the Fucking-Hill at the Doons. She claimed it and no one has fought her for it. It is a win win situation. However, the FNG is also given the task of hauling the rest of the shit up the Fucking-Hill that The Mule doesn't get. The FNG has to be the one that goes out and gets the firewood for the evening. The FNG has to endure tremendous amounts of shit being slung at them simply for being the FNG. However there is one job, one that is the worst job of all, one that people have gotten into arguments over who has to carry out the chore...and that job is the dishes. For awhile there we had Dishman coming. He didn't mind doing the dishes hence the nickname Dishman. But he may not be coming on the trip again for awhile. I won't go into that though. Back to the FNG. Now since Dishman has been gone, we have been passing the dish-washing job onto the FNG. This year's lucky winner is...Mark, Digger's new man. I don't know his last name but that doesn't matter. What matters is that we are going to have someone along this year to do the fucking dishes. Plus haul shit up the hill. Plus get firewood. The truth be told, we all pitch in with many of these jobs, even the dishes. Even still the General and I tend to take it a little easier than most because we get to claim the grandfather rule. Now the way I see it there have only been four guys on the Memorial Weekend Canoe trip that didn't qualify as an FNG. They are, Me, Jake, Stuball, and Pinner. For me, I have been canoeing on the river for many years before I started this tradition, same goes for Jake. The only reason Jake wasn't an FNG was becaue he was friends with Stuball and Pinner. Both of which lived on the river most of their lives and spent a lot of time canoeing, boating or kayaking. Anyway, we are the original River Runners, even though I'm the only one left, so none of us were FNGs. We just had a different perspective back then than I do now. The General made the trip the second and fourth year; there were also a few years in there where he miss also for one reason or another, however, he has made the second most trips next to me. After that would be Ducky, she hasn't missed one since she started and won't unless she is too prego...hehe. After her would come the Mule and Mini-Hulk for seniority, from there it is kind of a blur. The Rev is up there in years, and Dishman was. Digger is climbing and Shawn is going to make a second attempt, so he is a Kinda-FNG. He came once, but has missed the last five. He will have some shit to do this year, however, I have to admire a guy that loved my River Spuds so much that next morning he was picking the dead bugs out and/or eating around them with a fork. Glad to have him back. Doc will be making his second trip this year, so he will be one of the crew and mabye even earn his shirt...lol. Mine's pink! LMAO Ah shit I think that is a sign that I'm getting a little punchy and it is time to go to bed. I think next time I will have to write about some of the funny things FNG's have done on their initial trip. Untile then I will remaing...Crazy Joe