The Time Has Arrived

Greetings True Believers...


Little Mama and I had quite an interesting discussion tonight.  The upcoming river trip is going to include our entire family from Bug to Crazy Joe and everyone in-between.  We want to get our kids totally involved in the tradition of the river so that they fall in love with the Bigfork as much as we have.  The joyful aspect is that they are already campers so this isn't going to be much of a challenge.  They are going to have one of the best times of their lives this spring and that isn't no boast because I'm not the type of man to make such claims.  I just know that this is going to be one of my best trips ever...which is saying a lot since I haven't missed a single year doing this other than 2007, but we all know that story


As most can guess we are going to have a majority of FNG's on the trip this year so I am going to need to make sure we have a safe float.  The sad thing is the only way to make this happen is to canoe a chunk of the river that doesn't have any rapids.  Now I say this is sad because it has been so many years since we have canoed any real rapids on the river and as most of you that read this shit know the rapids are a very special part of canoeing the Bigfork.  A vast majority of our great trips have been when we have shot the Doons, but with the level of skill in my kids I know it would be a very bad idea to try to take them down that stretch of the river.  Only a fucking  idiot would take their kids through the rapids without first giving them some experience in how to canoe.  Sure we have shot many-a-rapids with people that were FNG's before, however, all of those FNG's we adults and knew what the hell they were getting into.  Even if they didn't they would have enough of a general idea by the time we reached the rapids that they would be ok.  Nevertheless, I'm not going to have my kids do that until they have had time to learn how to handle a canoe.  In fact, on this year's trip, I will be the only one in the family that will have had any experience in steering a canoe at all. 


Little-Mama is going to helm a canoe with Wade in the front.  As far as I know he has never been canoeing before and doesn't really have the best sense of balance, so he is going to have to be with the person he trusts the most in this world, which of course would be his mom.  She will be able to keep him calm and centered without his anxiety getting the best of him.  There is just no way to put him with someone who doesn't have any experience.  The canoe that is going to be reserved for the least experienced is going to be the one that takes Logan and Serenity.


Logan has been on the river a few times so I think I'm going to have him helm the canoe he is in.  Serenity, or Renny, isn't going to be too thrilled about that but I don't really give a shit.  True she has been in a canoe a time or two before, yet she still has less experience in a canoe that Logan has had in his short life.  This is going to be something great for them because they are going to have to learn how to work together to make it happen.  I mean if I have learned anything about canoeing it is this...people in the same canoe need to be on the same page or some funky shit is going to go down.  If you can't communicate and work as a team you are going to risk your gear and possibly other shit you are carrying that is vital to the trip.  Well to be honest, I'm not going to put anything in their canoe that could get soggy or lost that is going to effect the trip other than their clothes, sleeping bags and possibly tent.  I may be crazy but my Mama didn't raise no fool.


As most of you can probably guess the last canoe is going to have Bug and myself in it.  This is a no brainer as I have already taken Bug with me on the trip and he feels safe with me in the back.  But regardless of that it only makes sense to put the weakest paddler with the strongest.  On this year's trip he paddled but I did a majority of the work.  It is not like I minded because I knew that he is going to get better each year and eventually be able to take my place in the back to where I can just kick back and sip a brew or two while he does most of the work.  I'm thinking  about the future, yet there is a problem


I'm really hoping that Ducky and The Bartender can make this year's trip.  It been way too many fucking years since they have traveled the Bigfork that I'm afraid they maybe have forgotten their love...well Ducky's at least.  I hold no ill will against The Bartender, however, he has only taken the trip twice so he hasn't had the time to bond like some of us have had over the years.  Still, if they come then that means I will have to buy another canoe for sure because as it sits right now I only have access to three canoes, mine, Ducky's, and The General's Rebel.  Even still, I'm sure I could find someone that has a canoe I could borrow so I'm not all that worried.  This leads me to consider the other River Runners.


I'm sure The General is going to make the trip as well as Johnny Rambo and Radar.  With any luck we can get The Rev and possibly Dishman and his new wife to join us on this crazy traditional adventure.  I would also love to get Digger and her new man on the trip, but I just don't see that happening.  I'm not going to go into that because I feel I have already covered that.  I have better things to discuss.




I know in one of my posts before this year's trip I was all against having "kids" on the trip and got some flack from some people...although to be honest I have no idea who it was that was pissed at me because I heard it through a "third party" and those people have yet to air their grievances with me.  However, I don't really give a flying fiddler's fuck because if they don't have the guts to confront me to my face then I guess they are just trying to start shit that I'm not going to be a part of since I just don't fucking care.  People can be pissed about what rules I want to enforce on a trip and then get pissed because I break the same rules I wanted to enforce but I just don't fucking care.  I started this tradition with Brother John, Snakes and Stueball, however, being that I am the only motherfucker that has made the trip every year since its inception I think I should have a little more pull that anyone else.  I think I have earned it.  Nevertheless, that doesn't mean I'm not willing to listen to what others have to say as long as they let me know.  The only reason I broke the "not kids" rule this year is because there really wasn't anyone else to go with me on the trip because they had other obligations.  Looking back I wouldn't change this year's trip for anything.  I know Bug will never forget his first time on the Bigfork with his old man.


Man I would love to tell ya all a story from some of the insane trips from the past, however, I think I will save that for a later date...until then I will forever remain...Crazy Joe.